I do most of the hosting in our house. There are cakes, treats and desserts for every occasion, and a few occasions that don’t strictly need one. I love a big spread: focaccia warm from the oven, a lamb that’s been slow-cooking for 13 hours, and profiteroles to finish. So I’ve had plenty of practice planning for a table where nobody eats quite the same thing.
Here’s my approach, road-tested by Danny (he mostly carries plates).
Step 1: Ask early, and ask properly
When you invite people, ask about dietary needs in the invite, not the day before. Something simple works:
Write the answers down. You won’t remember them all, and it’s not the kind of thing to guess.
Step 2: Plan from the strictest needs outwards
Start with dishes that suit the most people, then add extras.
- Build-your-own dishes are your friend. Tacos, grazing boards, rice bowls and barbecues let everyone assemble their own plate.
- Make the sides do the heavy lifting. A few generous salads and veg dishes that suit most guests take the pressure off the main.
- Keep the sauces and dressings separate, so people can choose.
Step 3: Label the table
Put a small card beside each dish, listing what’s in it. It saves guests from asking (and you from answering) the same question 14 times. And keep the packaging for bought items handy, so anyone can check the ingredients for themselves.
Step 4: Keep things separate in the kitchen
If you’re cooking for someone with an allergy or a strict dietary need, ask them what they need you to know. They know their needs better than any recipe does. Use separate serving spoons, and keep their dish apart from the others.
My Tomte, and this post, are guidance, not medical advice. For guests with allergies, check every ingredient label and follow what your guest tells you.
Step 5: Don’t make anyone feel like a problem
The best hosts make every guest feel welcome, not “catered for”. A dish that happens to suit everyone beats a special plate with someone’s name on it.
Where My Tomte helps
My Tomte keeps your friends’ and family’s dietary needs on file. When you plan a meal for guests, the planner only suggests recipes marked to suit everyone at the table, and the shopping list follows. You still check the labels, but you no longer have to remember that Aunty Pat doesn’t eat coriander.